Review: How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks

April 9, 2014 Reviews 0 Comments

Review: How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn SparksHow to Marry a Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks
Series: Love at Stake #1
Genres: Paranormal Romance
Published by Avon on 26 July 2005
Pages: 371
Reading Challenges: 2014 TBR Pile Reading Challenge
Goodreads
One StarOne StarOne Star

 

How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire is a fun, albeit cheesy, paranormal romance. Roman Draganesti, a handsome ex-monk who also happens to be a vampire. Roman’s business has created synthetic blood so he and other like him don’t have to feast on humans. He accidentally breaks off one of his fangs on a sex doll no less and when he visits his dentist, he discovers a vampire assassin trying to rub her out. Roman loathes what vampires represent and has spent much of his 500+ years feeling sorry for himself and trying to invent a way of reducing the vampire impact on the world. Not content with developing synthetic blood, he has now turned his attention to a Stay-Awake drug that would allow vampires to be more ‘human’ and enjoy daylight fully. Despite his kill joy attitude, Roman has earned the respect of his male employees including the rather formidable Highland warriors. He has huge difficulties however managing the women in his life – the ten women in his harem, his assistant and even Shanna.

Shanna was fairly emotional throughout the book but given everything she has gone through, I gave her extra leeway. Shanna’s best friend was murdered in a restaurant and after giving evidence, Shanna was placed in witness protection. That cover was blown when a Russian mobster vampire got involved. He and his fairly inept fellow vampires spend most of the novel trying to find or capture her. She was so scarred by the experience that she became afraid of blood which is a little hard to swallow given her occupation as a dentist. Hmm. Shanna’s father is involved in something shady too and Shanna is torn between a (fairly) morose scientist vampire and her normal life. Guess which one she picks?

The romance develops in a slightly different way from usual with our couple enjoying the delights of vampire sex (purely a mental exercise) before steaming up the sheets. Roman’s harem along with the Highland warriors and pathetic villain Malcontents keep the laughs coming. Some of the jokes fall a little flat but there are so many that this is only to be expected. There were some repetitive phrases though that drove me insane such as ‘God’s blood’ to the point I was almost ready to run him through with a stake myself.

Sparks systematically parodies nearly every single vampire trope I can think of and seems to have an enormous amount of fun doing so. This is definitely not a book that can be taken seriously but worth picking up when you are in the mood for something very silly.

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