Top Ten Tuesday is an original meme created by The Broke and the Bookish for list addicts. The only catch (and it’s a biggie) is that you are supposed to stick to ten things. This week’s list is…
Top Ten Characters I Wouldn’t Want to Trade Places With
This is such a meaty topic as there are so many options to choose from. Rather than just go dystopian which let’s face it is the easy option, I’m going to try to include some classics and even…duh duh DAH comics. I tried to balance out male and female too. What do you think? Have I missed any really cool ones that I could have made snarky comments about?
1. Katniss (Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins)
This one is a no brainer – I wouldn’t want to be stuck in the Districts as a downtrodden and poverty stricken teenager or trapped in the Capitol with little freedom. Of course there is also the whole death thing.
2. Renfield (Dracula by Bram Stoker)
The guy is pretty loyal and genuinely believed Dracula was going to take care of him. Instead he ends up in an asylum eating insects and eventually dies from injuries Dracula gave him. No one really spares a second thought for the poor sod.
3. The Grinch (How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr Seuss)
Poor hygiene, only a dog for company (rather than an infinitely superior cat) and no Christmas presents. Bleh!Even worse, he forgoes his evil mastermind status soon after some nauseatingly sweet performances from the people of Whoville. Where is his conviction? Where is his determination to ruin the lives of others? I’d give him a D for effort.
4. Robin (Batman & Robin)
I think that being the sidekick all the time would get irritating and let’s be honest, not many people can carry yellow, green and red with much success. Dick would be a rather unfortunate name to have as a teenager and the idea of being tossed away like a used tissue once you turned 18 is a bit humiliating. The fact that Batman then replaced him with Jason Todd – a character with practically an identical back story is even worse.
5. Polyphemus (The Odyssey by Homer)
Poor Polyphemus was just your average dumb Cyclops. He is happily minding his own business when Odysseus and his crew try to steal his provisions. Yes he got a little hungry and ate a few of the crew but he was practically programmed to do that. Put simply, if someone put a wedge of chocolate cake in front of me, I’d be hard pressed to abstain. Odysseus tricks him, blinds him with a burning stake and then…teases him. I don’t want to be bullied so I have to say thanks but no thanks.
6. James Bond (James Bond series by Ian Fleming)
Odd choice right? Well, not really. Bond was a raging alcoholic consuming about 92 units of alcohol a week which is four times the recommended amount. That is not only really expensive, it would screw up your liver and most likely lead to impotence (something close to Bond’s heart). I think it would also be pretty exhausting to have to come up with so many witty one liners.
7. Lady Macbeth (Macbeth by Shakespeare)
Stuck with a fairly useless husband, Lady Macbeth does everything she can to inspire him to kill King Duncan. She gives him an almighty pep rally which has him ready to commit the dead. He then isolates her by not including her in his plans to remove Banquo and gets a doctor in to ‘care’ for her. Frankly, I suspect something suss there and Lady M was silenced. The poor woman then dies off stage which is fairly rude given the impact she had on the play.
8. Anyone stuck in Dickensian England
Charles Dickens painted a pretty bleak picture of England in his books and I can’t say that I am a fan. Firstly, I think all the smog and pollution would set off my asthma and there are a lot of characters that fall into the ‘not nice’ category. Also, if you watch Oliver!, people seem to spend their days singing and dancing about how tough things are. I would be more inclined to save my strength.
9. Lydia (Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen)
I couldn’t think of anything worse than to be incapable of forming a sensible thought. She does an awful lot of silly things like run off and marry Wickham because he is handsome. I also think having to spend the rest of your life paying for a mistake you made when you were fifteen is a bit rough.
10. Celia (Weird Girls series by Cecy Robson)
I really love this series but (I’m going to quote myself here) Celia is going to get hideously injured and covered in goo, pus, blood etc before she gets even. I would rather read about happening to some other poor shmuck rather than enduring it myself. Plus, she had to deal with an exploding were-raccoon. Just saying.